White people been shaming me for not going to marches and for not feeling I need to "throw hands" as one fb poster said. (You meant fists, dude, but whatever)
What happened in Charlottesville is repulsive. The end result of confronting racist psychos ended in the deaths of human beings.
That is fucking ridiculous, tragic. Worst of all?
Unnecessary deaths. Makes me sick. Makes me cry. And bless them all, officers who lost their lives who were forced to protect this crowd, included.
But it got me thinking about my place as an ally to people of color and to all humans because racism affects us all.
I did not post rage or violent words. I posted a few sad images that may spark reflection, which all of us should probably do.
What I've chosen to do is delve into my art to change the world (visual and literary) chosen to continue to live my life how I use it daily, which is to be the person who helps other people when they need it and how. I strive for love and justice. I do not get violent in the streets and surely would if I felt threatened. I would rather ignore the Nazis and continue on the path I think is best.
Then there's why I try not to get too into the business of communities of which I am not a part and who do not need me to come into as a great white savior.
I know some black women who are tired of white feminists fighting "for" them, pretending they know what black women want or need (re: racism, inequality, -isms) I don't think it's appropriate for me to choose what black women should or should not be offended by. Lots of white people been telling me what I need to do for black women though.
Sorry, sisters. Ain't my place. Not if I ain't asked by black women.
It's the same kind of shaming when I see whites shaming whites for wearing Day of the Dead makeup without asking if it offends me or my family. Before I decided to observe it, I asked some cousins, and they say it does not offend them if done reverently but I asked since they actively practice this and I am only beginning to learn about it. I'm tired of middle class whites deciding what's best for Hispanic or black or even poor hillbilly communities.
You know what? Y'all who say I'm nuts for NOT being at rallies screaming at mentally unbalanced idiots ("Nazi's") you all can just either understand and tolerate why some of us resist in our own ways or you can unfriend me. I'm not violent (anymore) and I can't allow stress of an old reality (racism) shut down my ability to function. (It can in people with PTSD. Yeah, there's that, too. Ain't ashamed)
Won't you white people ask some black folks what they want from you before you go yelling at other people (also not in the black community) about what they should or should not be doing on behalf of the black community. I'm not black. I don't know how it feels to see white people doing what they do on my "behalf." I don't know for sure what the black community wants or needs. I do know what it feels like for outsiders (or urban-lachians) to come into my working class hometown and paint their ideas of Appalachia. usually they go for that "alternative narrative" (read: what they say Appalachia is with all the embarrassing realities taken out. Lol
But I digress. I don't know what black people want or need regarding statues or education or other issues and it ain't fitting for me to think I do just because I love my black friends. Not my place. Kind of condescending, too, I think.
Here's what imma do.
Imma do my best to be an ally through educating college students about socioeconomics and race and gender and theory etc etc etc. Imma write blogs about my experiences in the world growing up in a different kind of marginalized culture. imma make some books with women's essays (women of all shades and nationalities) in them and let THEM women choose what they wanna say. (Soon to be published) And imma make my current art that is a large project about a woman's disease that *I* have. This may save lives and also save women's abilities to have babies...if I can raise awareness. And that's what imma do with my limited talents and abilities. I ain't trying to tear down a statue. I ain't telling nobody what they need. I ain't screaming at idiots or fist fighting or standing on a sidewalk only to make a point. I do what I know. I do it well. I resist my way. And I don't step on anybody's toes to do it. So, white Facebook warriors, get off my fb if yuh don't think my posts are angry enough. But buy my book of women's writing- you might read what THEY want you and the world to hear.
If this enraged you, get off my Facebook. Better yet, get out of my life. You part of the problem.